give thanks26/1/2018  greet the desert after a long absence
give thanks for rain find a place in the wide open slip off shoes dance barefoot in a slow circle sing touch the ground with bare hands ask the unanswerable questions love the journey say dreams out loud commit self in service, again whisper the names of beloveds pray, thank you watch the lightning feel the gentle rain listen to crickets open heart even wider greet the desert after a long absence give thanks for rain
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Collective Holding1/1/2018  I listened to one of Thich Nhat Hahn’s talks and chants today in the kitchen – Day of Mindfulness at Blue Cliff Monastery. I’ve used his talks at various difficult times in my life, like a virtual sangha. I wept. I felt so angry yesterday. I heard myself say aloud that I wanted others to feel as badly as I did. Then I felt worse for that wish. This morning I understand that I was saying I needed others to help me hold the pain, because it felt like too much for me alone. I feel better now, somehow.
This made me think of a certain toddler I love, and her anger and her needing someone else to help hold the pain. Oh, child. I know that we all suffer - every single one of us. Yet, when my pain is high, that awareness doesn’t help, it feels minimizing. The suggestion that someone else’s pain is worse also feels minimizing. We each have our own hardest thing. When my own pain has passed, I am able again to take my place in the collective sangha and help to hold the pain of others. Each of us needs moments of feeling held, I think. What that looks like varies. My pain has passed for now. And I take my place in the collective, holding, feeling gratitude. Happy new year, day, morning. 
Gabe EyrichI use creative non-fiction, autobiographical fiction, and poetry to communicate, connect, and understand. Archives
November 2020
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